Stealing in the House of the Lord: Weird NorCal Crime News

Written by Alex Gronke

Stalled in 60 Seconds

Memo to car thieves: You might want to consider getting a CARFAX report before boosting your next ride. Police say that 33-year-old Ian Imperio was nabbed after the car he stole broke down with Watsonville cops in hot pursuit. Officers caught him about 100 yards from the smoking truck, which rolled backward and crashed into two police cruisers.

Forgive me Father

Police in Roseville arrested a man after he stole purse from a woman who had left it unattended while she went to receive Holy Communion. That’s right, the 22-year-old alleged thief committed his crime in St. Rose Catholic Church. He was taking money before it even reached the collection plate.

Say Cheese

Two house burglars in El Cerrito noticed a security camera a few seconds too late. Surveillance footage shows one burglar kicking down a door just as the lookout spots the electronic eye. The house was burgled and police are still looking for the culprits. At least they have a clear picture of one.

Truly juvenile delinquency

Vandals caused $10,000 in damage to a high school football field in Pleasanton after burning a lewd image into the turf. The phallic vandalism prompted one commenter on Patch to quip, “I thought the P in P-Town stood for Pleasanton.”

Dogweed

A dog in Marin County threw up after eating pot, according to the Marin County Sheriff’s blotter. The dog’s owner thinks his pet ingested the weed while walking near a creek known as a hangout for middle school dope smokers.